on seasons and emotions...

(Original Post 9/29/14)

Seasons set the stage for such powerful shifts for me... I truly have no comprehension for what it must be like to live in a place like Santa Barbara, where it is constantly 70 and sunny. Now, I live in Colorado, the place famous for 340 days of sunshine (or something like that) so that offers a rather different perspective on seasons than, say, Boston. BUT... even so, I feel like seasons are so often reflective of cycles, not only of life, but also emotion.

We all experience periods of struggle, hardship, challenge... and though many of us have various levels of struggle, the essence of knowing that there is often another side to the struggle (the light at the end of the tunnel if you will) is essential to cultivating the hope and energy to move forward. For me, fall is a time that represents this kind of experience...

When you think in terms of nature's process... it so very much appears to mirror, to me, a natural struggle. The light around us begins to shift... Darkness becomes more visible. Small signs and details, reminders of change, that another year is passing, that nothing is permanent... they are everywhere... The grasses grow dormant. Rain creeps in. The soft lap of the summer breeze has a hint of harsh chill. The colors of the deciduous trees become brilliant, if only for a moment, and then, as time goes on, they begin to drain themselves of life, and fall... fall... fall....

It is this act of brilliance, and falling... only to be caught by the earth beneath, held, destroyed, consumed and reintegrated, that feels powerful. Yes sometimes things get dark... and the smallest experiences can become noticeable... almost profoundly so. Even overwhelming... These experiences may not always feel good. In fact, they are hard... painful... make you feel like letting go of everything... And yet, reminding ourselves, our children, that though the process may hurt... (the release from the tree and the fall to the ground, the dramatic land, and the possibility of being tread on) it is something that can be beautiful, healing, regenerating... and it is temporary...

As the season rambles on though... change is inevitable... and ultimately, after the time of cold, darkness, chill... the warmth returns, and that which we had shed, let go of, destroyed, recovered from becomes part of our landscape once again... but this time it is what greens the grass, fertilizes the soil, makes room for the buds of new experience, another chance, another opportunity, another season, another year...

In the dim light, our whitened knuckles hold... hold on and on and on... and then let go, fall, transform, and become again.