Averill Hovey, MA, LPC-S, ATR-BC, EMDR
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On Being: A Study.

As an artist, I have been asked on many occasions to participate in a "study." A deep looking into, under, around, over, within, through... This is a space where I make room for the practice of observation. The practice of study. An exploration of the act of being; through psychotherapy, emotion, love, art and experience.
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on negativity...

4/14/2016

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(Original posting, 8/11/14)
Ever felt like your life has taken a turn for the worse... totally out of your control?

Potentially ever considered "Why does this $%@#% continue to happen to me?
Sure... right? We all have days like these... However, there are a handful of folks out there who live their lives this way... constantly blaming the world or others for their woes. No judgment. Seriously. None at all. We all have reasons for the things that we do, the beliefs that we have, the ways that we navigate the world. All of our behaviors are dictated by something. So often the strategies that we use to deal with life are purely there for survival's sake.

Biologically, we do things to protect ourselves or improve our survival... For example, when we are tired, we tend to eat foods that are high in sugar or carbohydrates frequently throughout the day. This is not because we are irresponsible (well perhaps we were the night before when we did not get to bed on time), but this eating/ craving is our bodies way of getting us to function effectively throughout the day. Is it healthy for us? No. BUT it is something that we intrinsically do to try and "take care" or ourselves. Emotionally, we have similar tendencies. We will protect ourselves from hurt, shame, pain, angst, in a number of ways (both conscious and unconscious). More often than not our emotional patterns do serve us... or at least it they have before. 

Any patterns of behavior that you experience when it comes to relationship? Dealing with stress? Confronting someone you care about? Ooooooh yeaaaaah... see we all deal with things like this.


Unfortunately, once these patterns have successfully diverted pain, presence, vulnerability, what have you... it becomes a STRATEGY, and we use it...  all. the. time... sometimes on a conscious level... sometimes not... Occasionally, we need to become aware of the pattern itself, when it emerges, and why in order to further our happiness, success, contentment. Most times we have no idea...

People who are often described as "negative" may fall under this umbrella (not always, but sometimes) and the consequence to negativity, it breeds negativity... 

In recent years there has been a lot of attention given to "the law of attraction," essentially a theory developed by a multitude of psychologists that suggests that your patterns of thinking often draws or attracts certain congruent things your way. If you feel like it's always sunny in Philadelphia... chances are your perception may very well make it so. Conversely, if you feel as though the world is a constant obstacle to your happiness, chances are that will also be the case...

It is an interesting idea... theory... concept... Often I do find that when I am down, skeptical, or even feeling thwarted, I consequently seem to have a more difficult time all around. When I am happier or feeling more positive, generally speaking, about my life, things appear brighter. Now... is this actually due to positive thinking?? Or not...? There is a lot that suggests that it may very well be the power of your thoughts. The article below provides more in depth information about how to attempt to change your negative thinking, and even identify if you are one who tends to get swayed towards darker thoughts and, thus in theory, a darker perception of your life context. Regardless of the ultimate outcome, practicing seeing things more positively cannot hurt. I mean, if you had the choice, would you rather hang with Debbie Downer or Richard Simmons? Granted, neither may be your ultimate ideal, but... consider it... for a moment...

http://themindunleashed.org/2013/09/how-negative-energy-affects-your-life.html

If you have yet to see the movie What the ^*#$@$ do we know? I suggest you do because it also causes you to question the validity of thought, perception, and outcome...

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    Averill Hovey, MA, MA, LPC, EMDR, RYT

    Art Psychotherapist and Licensed Professional Counselor

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  • Home
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  • The Work
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  • Current Clients
  • Perspective Clients
  • Educational Consultation
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